Parents of teens - navigating a changing landscape

It occurred to me whilst sitting at the empty pool the other day, waiting for my partner to get out of the change rooms, that parents of teenage offspring have a tricky journey. I know, I'm stating the bleeding obvious, but why is it tricky? Yes, teenagers are aliens from outer space. Yes, they exhibit quite a few behaviours that are unacceptable to adults and inappropriate for children. Because they are neither - adults or children. And as their parent, I can't treat them completely as I would another adult, neither can I treat them as I used to when they were children. That's tricky. Somehow I need to be in a halfway house (much like them), giving them room to be themselves, but not so much that they hang themselves. I can't tell them how to live their lives any more, but sometimes I have to. I shouldn't be their friend, but neither can I be a smothering mother (or [something that rhymes with father]ing father). It's no wonder parents get confused. And offspring as well. [I'm deliberately using the word 'offspring' because I want to avoid 'children', because they're not children in the way that under-13s (or wherever the magical cut-off is) are children).] But I felt quite good as the pool staff clattered about locking up and casting glances my way, no doubt hoping my partner and I would be gone soon and they could go home too. Because I don't think there is a single answer for how best to navigate that transition period from childhood to adulthood. It is tricky, and it's perfectly valid for me to feel confused, and for my kids to feel confused. I decided flexibility was the answer - try things, assess how well they worked, adjust, try again. Over and over until they get it. And they start doing it for themselves (just like the sisters - standing on their own two feet, and ringing on their own bell). Get it on!